Welcome back to Flashpoint Facts, the feature that will get you caught up on DC’s event Flashpoint… In a flash! We were off at San Diego last week, so we just picked up two weeks worth of a Flashpoint titles. Double the excitement! Double the danger! Double the deaths! Okay, we got a lot to cover, so let’s get into this:
KID FLASH LOST #2
Bart Allen is stuck in the future, 1000 years from now; which normally wouldn’t be so bad, as Kid Flash is from that time period… Except with everything going all wonky in Flashpoint, he’s stuck in a dystopian future where Brainiac has enslaved the entire world. Together with Patty Spivot, The Flash’s ex-girlfriend, who is now motorcycle ridin’ hero Hot Pursuit, Bart has to battle Brainiac and head to the past to save the future…
And it’s f-ing epic. Seriously, THIS is what Flashpoint should have been – or at least, should feel like. I know, as a Flash (and writer Sterling Gates) fan, I’m biased, but there are laugh out loud moments in here, huge sacrifices, and more than anything a clear sense of the stakes. I don’t want to slag off something to praise something else, but in Flashpoint Barry Allen is pissed off that his villainous double did something, so he wants to set things right somehow. Here, if Bart doesn’t save the future, he will literally fade from existence, and the human race will be lost forever.
Seriously, pick this up, because Kid Flash Lost is the Flash event fans have been waiting for.
HAL JORDAN #2
Hal Jordan is just a regular fighter pilot… Or is he??? No, he is, but he’s still a hero – fighting off hydras, invisible jets, and he’s so cool, even Obama knows his name. This, actually, was the most surprising moment in this issue: normally, DC prefers to keep their President in shadow, unseen. Here, he’s straight up Obama all the way, and he’s got a huge bro-crush on Hal. But don’t we all? Well, no.
LOIS LANE AND THE RESISTANCE #2
Lois Lane finally joins up with the resistance fighting against the Amazonian invasion of the UK, and finds out their leader is none other than Wildstorm’s Grifter. Never having read anything about the guy, I can tell you that his powers are probably shooting guns and having a doofy mask, but that’s it. Most of the issue is spent explaining how Grifter is in love with a girl named Penny, and how she needs some sort of battle armor. That’s all I got.
PROJECT SUPERMAN #2
Again, I’m going to editorialize here instead of offering up straight facts; but I wish this was the first issue of the series, because it’s hands down one of the best Superman stories told in years.
Basically, young Kal-El lands in the middle of Metropolis, and ends up being taken prisoner by the US military, led by General Lane (as in, Lois’ Dad). Though Lane adopts the young Kryptonian, he’s prodded and poked by the military, who end up pushing him almost to the brink. What makes this so amazing though is that he remains Superman. The entire time. And there’s amazing moments with Lois, a certain projector, and more. Plus, gorgeous art by Gene Ha make this one of the best Flashpoint issues so far… I’m just not sure we needed issue one.
DEADMAN AND THE FLYING GRAYSONS #2
The Amazonian’s catch up with Dick Grayson’s traveling circus, and basically kill everyone. They’re after the Helmet of Fate, in case you were wondering, though I’m not sure how this will connect, if at all, with the main Flashpoint mini. Oh, also, we find out that the Graysons are doomed in any dimension, wile Starfire wears slightly more clothing when she’s evil. But just slightly.
LEGION OF DOOM #2
Heatwave continues his breakout from prison, with the help of evil Plastic Man, who has a bad case of Venom-mouth. Also, there’s a little tie-in to the Green Arrow one-shot – we find out Ollie has been buying his villain costumes from this prison. And we leave off with Heatwave about to undo all the good work Eminem did with his Superbowl commercial. Also? Writer Adam Glass REALLY hates characters whose names start with A. Just look at our death count, below!
THE OUTSIDER #2
Evil Stone Grant Morrison is still recovering from the attack on his India based fortress last issue, and eventually figures out that it must have been caused by Black Adam. Except it isn’t at all, it’s from… Well, another guy, who you’ll have spoiled for you if you look at next issue’s cover. Sigh. Anyway, this continues to be fun, and I’ll be sad to lose this guy after the relaunch (though I won’t be surprised to see him turn up, either).
WONDER WOMAN AND THE FURIES #2
At this point, not quite remembering what I’ve read and what I’ve inferred, I’d imagine this is filling in some of the gaps in the history of Aquaman and Wonder Woman in the Flashpoint world. Basically, through a series of mistakes, missed intentions, and unfortunate accidents, the two rulers have brought the Earth to the brink of collapse… Even though the both of them have tried to do the opposite, usher in a new era of peace. Also, in case you’re wondering where WW’s helmet comes from? Off Mera’s head. Gross. Oh, and Aquaman’s nose-cut comes from Wonder Woman. Not as gross.
And that’s it! We’ll see you next week for more facts! Facts, you guys! But first, the two-week death count:
DEATH COUNT: Patty Spivot, Cheetah, Hawkgirl, Huntress, Vixen, The Demon Etrigan, Lex Luthor, Krypto, the Graysons, King Shark, Dr. Fate, Animal Man, The Atom, Amazo, Atomic Skull, Isis, Black Adam, a bunch of Indian mob guys, Mera...